Skip Navigation LinksHome pagePublicationsSpecchio delle mie brame. Madri e figlie a confronto

Specchio delle mie brame. Madri e figlie a confronto

The war of the feminine is increasingly being fought on the terrain of beauty. 50% of daughters go to the surgeon together with their mothers. And the mothers? They leave their husbands at home and have their offspring accompany them to the clinic. 10% of the time they both operate, complicity? No, rivalry.

If in the Brothers Grimm's fairy tale, the protagonist of envy was Snow White's stepmother who did not give in to the passing of time and the idea of a rival, today the mirror shows the image of the women who will be to their daughters and what they have been to their mothers. And it is not necessary to eliminate the rival as in the fairy tale, it is enough to diminish the gap between these two images as much as possible, with scalpels if necessary.

The lengthening of the average life span, the slowing down of old age thanks to optimal living conditions, healthy and varied diet have created a phenomenon never known before in history, the co-presence in families of women of different generations still capable of procreating but above all, seducing.

Women who, for the first time in human history, experience similar conditions, fertility and therefore competition, at the same time in a condition that makes roles 'liquid', interpenetrating and sometimes uncomfortable.

Pietro Lorenzetti, a plastic surgeon and author of 'Intelligenza Estetica' and 'Il chirurgo dell'anima', in his third work ventures into one of the most complex and multifaceted relationships, that between a mother and her daughters of the same sex.

"I realised very early on that women have changed and are no longer that model learned in my Sicilian childhood in which mothers aged prematurely and assumed the role of matriarchs, powerful women who managed their grandchildren and the household. There were few who could afford the luxury of being glamorous after a 'certain' age.
Any seductiveness was considered inappropriate in a woman after the age of 40-45.With the post-war period and affluence everything changed and the age difference became more blurred.In the last 30 years there has been a revolution, mothers have become the direct rivals of their daughters, glamorous and beautiful women competing for the attention and looks of their high school or university classmates'.

A cataclysm of social, cultural and psychological dimensions still little investigated.
The Sicilian surgeon did so by shedding some light on this relationship starting from a privileged position, the profession inspired by beauty, what is considered by some to be the modern confessor: 'It is a bit like this, people come to my office and do not just talk to me about the part of the body they hate and would like to change, but they tell me about the mental and human journey that has brought them to me. Those who come to the surgeon in most cases have thought long and hard, they don't act on the impulse, the decision to operate is always a 'premeditated' act, matured over years.
And that decision must be given - to me and to oneself - a very solid set of reasons.
That is why the doctor and the plastic surgeon ends up being a confidant to whom one can reveal what one would only tell a psychotherapist: one's frailties, insecurities, fears of not being up to scratch'.

Something has changed and more and more daughters accompanied by their mothers and women together with their daughters show up at the first visit.
But it is not always all gold. Together but rivals, a rivalry never confessed to the other that with a facelift or new breasts can become a gauntlet.
Each would like to be the more beautiful, or the more loved or desired.
In this book, extremely different stories unfold, collected over the course of a few years, all from women who came into contact with Lorenzetti in some way. They told their story to a journalist and the doctor eventually pulls the strings of a story on the thread of psychology. Not all of them are patients, they are friends, journalists, people they have met on a journey who have delivered their experiences as daughters and mothers.

Women loved, envied, detested, treated with brutal indifference bordering on psychic abuse.Women unreachable or absent, daughters on the run and tormented. Cruel grandmothers, judgmental, castrating, neutral women or rivals in love to win the father-husband. And then women who ended up at the plastic surgeon's after a tumour and who with their daughters or mothers formed an alliance against pain. A female solidarity placed at the end of a sometimes bitter book that comes at the worst moments and allows hope to be nourished.

Many types of mothers: sacrificial, adolescent, oppressive, cold, insecure or fallen into the abyss of depression that stretches its tentacles even on those who try to save them.
Women sometimes 'daughters' incapable of growing up with daughters who have only two paths: to resemble or reject tout-court the behavioural model by choosing to be 'other'.
We will see, however, how all these stories have a stone guest, a silent protagonist, the mirror that not only bears the image of the here and now but also acts as a silent witness across generations.
Looking at each other, mothers see what they have been (and will no longer be, but to which they cling) and daughters what they will or may be. Just beauty? Far from it. On this stage of emotions and feelings that is life, in the stalls, a man silently observes. A surgeon who only at the end of each tale unravels and clarifies with the lucidity of a scientist, but who speaks of how 'that' type of surgery could have made a difference, in a journey that goes from the study to the operating theatre.

"Of course not every relationship between mother and daughter involves a passage in the operating theatre," Lorenzetti explains, "but the plane of physical appearance often comes into play, sometimes in a subtle, nuanced manner, at others in a disruptive way.
Here too, the body is used as an instrument of communication. A new breast flaunted is a declaration of war that can upset many balances, just as for a daughter to erase family traits, perhaps an important nose.
There are women who go to a psychotherapist to resolve their ambivalent relationship with their mother, others to a surgeon. Changing some unwelcome aspects can be read as a modern sign of emancipation, just like a tattoo, shaved hair, a rite of passage, a leap over the obstacle of an intrusive parent towards autonomy'.

numero verde 800 43 25 15

cellulare 366 42 28 768

Lunedì-Venerdì 9-13 15-19
Sabato 10-13

Prenota una visita